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THE YUMMY MUMMY'S
FAMILY HANDBOOK

THE YUMMY MUMMY'S
SURVIVAL GUIDE

 


Book extracts

EXTRACTS FROM THE YUMMY MUMMY'S SURVIVAL GUIDE

Below is a Table of Contents, so you can see just how much more there is in this fantastic little book!!  

PART I: BEFORE IT ALL STARTS:

What is a Yummy Mummy?

Prepare, prepare: what you should definitely do before getting pregnant. (Or what you should have done months ago, but could start now).

Common Concerns

  • I don't feel very maternal: maybe I'll be an awful mother.
  • I don't want to get fat.
  • What if I mess it all up?
  • What about my career?
  • Is it selfish to be a Yummy Mummy ?
  • I'm too embarrassed about people to be poking around down there.
  • I'm scared of all the pain
  • What if things go wrong with my partner?

PART II: PREGNANCY:

In the Beginning:

  • Getting Pregnant: a brief biology re-cap.
  • The Thin Blue Line: that moment.
  • Tired, tired, tired. What is going on??
  • Breaking the News: To your partner, parent and friends.
  • Work: Mum's the Word. When to tell; what to expect.
  • Hello Boys! Some physical changes you might notice.
  • Morning sickness. If only it were that simple…
  • More Worries this is a big mistake - I'll never manage.
  • Cheering Yourself up. A lot.

The middle bit:

  • Physical changes: Most of what they told you is true… but they probably didn't mention these peculiarities...
  • Looking good: gorgeous clothes for the suddenly-large-of-girth. Wardrobe tips from top designers
  • Cravings and revulsions
  • Testing, testing: one, two, three, four, five, six…hang on…
  • Keeping fit: you can, you must, you must. This works…
  • You're eating for how many? It's a tiny baby, not a racing horse.
  • Pampering: Oh yes! But is it safe? The best health spas and beauty treatments during pregnancy.
  • Detox: what to cut out for a while.
  • The F Word: "I am definitely the FATTEST person in the world." No you're not.
  • Body image and eating problems: yes, you.
  • Sex : do it now - it could be the last months you get round to it.
  • Come Fly with Me. Go on holiday while you still can…
  • Physical discomforts. Just few.
  • Alien: when you feel your baby move, hiccups and all.
  • Health matters: gardening and pets. Medications and supplements

Nearing the end:

  • More physical effects: Is there a loo around here? You'll need one every hour or so
  • Backache, twinges, haemorrhoids – oh the glamour!
  • What to buy now:
    -
    Baby Clobber: one small baby, one big shopping list
    - For You: a few Mummy essentials worth getting now.
  • Due dates: due for a re-think. “It's going to be early, I just know it”, and other delusions.
  • Last chance to: all the things you have to do NOW, before it's too late.
  • Baby Showers: at last – a tradition worth adopting.
  • What's in a Name? Everything, that's what .
  • Your hospital bag: Got lipstick? Good to go then. What you really need to pack.
  • Pedicures, and other essential preparations for handsome doctors. (Ha ha.)
  • The nesting instinct: pass me the hammer drill, I'm going to have a baby.
  • The Ugly Duckling: one last thing you might panic about.

PART III: BIRTH

Going into labour : “It says in my book…” Yeah, whatever.

  • Bring it on
  • Am I in Labour now?
  • False Labour: not funny at all.

Real Labour

  • The Show. And not a West End theatre in sight.
  • Waters Breaking. Mine didn't.
  • Contractions : timing them, surviving them
  • Panic: how to avoid the ‘ no petrol, no hospital bag, no idea' disasters.
  • Choosing a birth method. You have choice ?
  • Birth plan : Prepare to improvise.
  • The truth hurts . I probably shouldn't tell you this, but…
  • Drugs, drugs , glorious drugs.
  • Midwives, and other scary people you'll encounter.
  • That's it - over to you now.

PART IV: A YUMMY MUMMY IS BORN

  • The first 24 hours: some things you may notice.
  • Instinct? Shminstinct.
  • The Ugly Duckling: what if I have a really ugly baby?
  • Breastfeeding: why is the best always so difficult?
  • Night Owls: is anyone else awake at 2am?
  • Weight a minute: Shucks! You mean you put ON weight after the birth?
  • Dummies: ugly, but damned useful.
  • The truth hurts: that's why nobody warned you about…
  • Rock bottom 1 : when the euphoria dies down, aka the Baby Blues.
  • Rock Bottom 2: yours isn't, but don't worry: it will be.
  • The Brain Drain: keeping your own mind.

BABY BASICS: I wish I'd know more about:

  • Changing a baby
  • Bath time
  • Bed time. Pleeaase!
  • Breastfeeding.
  • Baby Clothes. Sensible, affordable, crucial.
  • Bonding.
  • Confidence.
  • The crying baby checklist. Gucci, Pucci Choo : fabulous clothing for fabulous babies. You know you want to. Best designer baby wear, and a note from designer parents.

OK, SO WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO WITH A BABY?

  • At the third stroke… how to fill those long, long days
  • New Babies: Eat, sleep, poo , sleep, eat, sleep, poo…Is that it ?
  • While they are asleep – shop, sleep, shop. Yipee.
  • While they are awake: more problematic…
  • From Six Months: More tips and ideas to keep you both happy all day. Almost.

YOUR FIRST FEW MONTHS:

  • More wardrobe frustration . What you can and can't wear with a new baby.
  • Post Natal Depression. Been there, done that, and I really hope this helps.
  • Makeover magic: Time-efficient, simple beauty tips for new Yummy Mummies.
  • Sexy Mama : getting that bod back in order. The most effective post-natal exercises, from Matt Roberts.
  • Reality check : How are you doing so far?
  • Can I go on a diet now ? What to eat:
    - If you're breastfeeding.
    - If you're not any more.
  • Mummy Clobber : new kit you need to survive.
    - Handbags: what you need from them; what they need from you.
    - Purses: think B-I-G.
    - The joy of pockets.
  • Old Friends: why don't they call any more? I am the One and Only.

PART V: THE FIRST YEAR

THE BASICS a few things which are just different now, and forever.

  • Popping out : in memoriam. What to take with you when you leave the house.
  • Eating out: better make that "to go" then...
  • Spontaneity: the shortest chapter in the book.
  • Travel: still possible, just a little more complicated.
    - What to pack
    - Survival tips for hot and cold climates
    - The Yummy traveller: the smartest travel tips

YUMMY MUMMY THINGS:

  • Who am I?
    -
    Getting to know the new you.
    - Realising you are turning into your mother
    - Where is the old me?
    - Finding time for yourself
  • Coping: The network you'll need to keep on top of it.
    - When to get help.
    - Babysitters.
  • What's happened to me : some odd psychological changes you might notice.
  • Stress Busters: …Aaaaand, relax. Best pampering treats for body and mind.
  • Wonder Mums : when honesty is not the best policy.
  • Sex? Sex! Are you trying to make me angry?
  • Square one: where you'll be every night.
  • Control Freak: the challenge of letting go.
  • Life is a Rollercoaster: just when you thought things were going well…

BABY THINGS:

  • Medical Matters:
    -
    What to have in the medical kit
    - How do I know if my baby is ill?
    - Choosing a GP
    - What to take to the surgery
    - Vaccinations. What, more ?
  • Gender Stereotyping : don't worry, Nature's got it covered
  • Hygiene: another thing not to stress out about.
  • There were three in a bed ...moving your baby out of your room.
  • Weaning: Ready, steady...hang on - when exactly?
    - Reducing the Mess Factor.
    - Choking. Who said carrots were a good idea anyway?
    - Organic baby food : should you? Shouldn't you?
  • The Green Baby: environmentally friendly nappies, recycled clothing - your baby can be eco-friendly too.

HOUSE THINGS:

  • Needing more Space
  • Re-organising everything
  • Making your house baby safe
  • Where's my lovely house? Hiding the evidence.
  • In an English Urban Garden … tips for a baby-safe garden.
  • Your car: or mobile skip, as it will be from now on.

NEW RELATIONSHIPS

  • Your Partner: Who are you? And other questions you will ask him…
    - Arguments you will have, and how to deal with them.
    - Jealousy, resentment and appreciation. And other fun things.
    - That's not what we agreed…
  • Meet the Grandparents: Getting on with your own parents now.
  • In-Laws: now here's a fun relationship.
  • Keeping it in the family: when traditions clash
  • Other Mothers - Your new friends: scary, but true.
    - Competitive Mums: isn't yours reading Baby Shakespeare yet?
    - A problem shared…

LIFE WITH BABY

  • Playgroups: your baptism of Fire
  • Flavour of the Week: why you sometimes won't be.
  • Little Friends for Little People: they need ‘em too.
  • Minding your Ps and Qs : they pick up everything.
  • Remember, remember: what did we do today?
  • Things You Will do and feel : and hate yourself for it.
  • Drawing the line: how do I discipline my child?
  • Telly Tantrums: the big "should they/shouldn't they" debate.
  • Chocolate and other lovely things: how to keep treat, a treat.
  • Sweets for my sweet, sugar for my baby: what happens when kids fill up on sugary, synthetic stuff
  • Milestone Spotting: when to expect that first smile or gurgle.
  • Is that right? Developmental things you might worry about
  • Making conversation: volatile stock exchange, don't you think sweetie?

THE OTHER HALF

  • What's it like being a new father?
  • Sharing the load.
  • Talking Dirty: some unpleasant things you need to discuss.
  • Being a family

PART VI: GOING BACK TO WORK

  • I need a job Part 1: No, you don't.
  • I need a job Part 2: Yes, you do.
  • Potential work-related disasters: they happened to me, they will happen to you.
  • Simply the Best: why you will have to outperform everyone else.
  • Who is holding my baby? Childcare options to worry about.
    -
    I can't leave my baby, can I?
    - So what are the options?
    - Guilt. Don't you just love being a woman?
  • Wardrobe: smart, sexy clothes for working mothers.