EXTRACTS FROM THE YUMMY MUMMY'S SURVIVAL GUIDE

PREGNANCY: NEARING THE END

More Physical Changes (nearly there though…)

Never wishing you to become bored, or too comfortable, your body saves a few surprises for the last month or two. Cheers, love.

Is There a Loo Around Here?
In the last month your baby presses down on your bladder quite hard, so you will need the loo constantly. Added to this is the fact that you feel you need to drink lots to keep hydrated and avoid getting piles, so it's not uncommon to have to wee more than once an hour. And when you have to go, you have to go NOW.

Backache
A big stomach means a sore back. Mostly this is your lower back, as the baby weighs down so heavily there, and maintaining a good posture is critical now. Backache can be very bad during the night towards the end, and upping the number of Johnny Depps between your legs to two, or even three, can help.

Twinges and Cramps
These can be really painful and also terribly embarrassing: there is no subtle or ladylike way of relieving cramp in your groin, when you are [lose italics] in the middle of Selfridges. Leg cramps and twinges in your back, abdomen and groin ligaments happen a lot now, but unless they are painful and prolonged they are probably just caused by your baby getting too big and heavy. Moving around as much as you can helps, as does gentle stretching every few hours.

Haemorrhoids
Don't panic: I never got any. Promise. If you do, drink more water and up your fibre and fresh fruit intake to keep things, errr, moving more easily.

Stretch Marks
Just when you thought you'd made it they can pop up like a bad zit before a party.

Keep going on the oils every night, and pray for a lucky miss.

And more...

DUE DATES: DUE FOR A RE-THINK 

New Year's Day 1998. 12 days overdue.

I can't believe it's 1998 and I'm still pregnant. I'm very frustrated, almost angry, and I feel annoyed with the baby and with myself for not planning for things to get so overdue. I thought she was coming out weeks ago, and got all excited, but now I just feel stupid for being so naive. I've been having Braxton Hicks contractions for weeks, but they just annoy me now, because they never seem to get anywhere. They just hurt and make me tired.

‘So, When is Your Baby Due?'

That's an annoying question you'll be asked over and over again, and you will duly give the only answer you know, which is the date given to you by your doctor right at the beginning of your long journey to the delivery room. This date is your EDD, or Estimated Date of Delivery, and the only word we care about here is the first one:

Estimated

Not actual, likely, probable, desirable or chosen. Just ESTIMATED. Now, to be fair, they can't be sure: complications can arise, every woman's body is different, and you might even be telling a tiny fib about when you really think you conceived, for personal reasons. (Naughty girl.)

But, ‘estimated' by what means? By calculating the average length of gestation in women today? No. By dividing your last credit-card bill by the number of times you went to the cinema last month and adding it to the price of a pint of milk? No, but it might as well be.

In the UK, here's how your due date is calculated:

Last Known Menstrual Period + 7 days – 3 months = EDD

And why? Because in about 1850, well before Mummies had even thought about becoming Yummy, some German science dude called Dr Naegele decided that the average length of human gestation was 266 days from conception. There. That's it.

The mad thing, given how unbelievably important this date is to you, is that there are about ten different ways of calculating it, different countries use different methods, and all of them give you a different date! The only thing you can be almost certain of is that your baby will NOT be born on its due date !

Psychologically, it's better to think it will be late. Practically, it's better to get ready early. Emotionally it's a minefield whichever way you look at it, but at least the tips below should make it a little less traumatic.

TOP TIPS for Surviving the Big Wait

Oh no you don't....buy the book and find out..!