TOP TEN FAMILY SURVIVAL POINTS

1. In the entrance hall: Have a good sense of humour. It gets hard, then it gets harder, and then it all slips back into almost manageable again. If you can't laugh at the silly situations you find yourself in every day, you'll find yourself heading towards and an early, stressful grave. There are many things you can change about family life, and even more that you can't. Trying to right all the wrongs, irritations, spillages, broken nights, sibling cat fights and mismatching socks is pointless, so put up with as much as you can and enjoy the rest.

2. In the bedroom: Don't expect a smooth ride. Long-term relationships are like stressful car journeys and you'd better be prepared for some flat tyres, burst radiators and countless arguments over directions along the way. Stick with it if at all possible - just around the next corner could be a smooth, straight stretch with a breathtaking view which makes all the dirty pants on the floor and rows over the remote control worthwhile.

3. In the kids bedroom: shut up and Listen. Not your kids - you! Children have the most incredible minds and ideas, but they rarely get a word in edgeways with all our fussing, ordering and correcting. Be quiet, listen to what they have to say and learn - it's probably a lot more inventive and sensible than anything most adults would come up with.

4. In the garden: Remove the cotton wool. Kids can't breathe and develop under seventeen layers of fluffy padding. Take it off and let them experiment, take small risks, hurt themselves a little and actually learn how the world works. This isn't neglect - it's preparing them for the real, mad, bad, occasionally painful world.

5. In the attic: Lower your expectations when you travel. The first thing I say when I come back from a family holiday is 'God, I'm exhausted. I need a holiday.' If you are prepared for everything to go wrong and for nothing to be relaxing, it can make the whole experience a lot less stressful - and even enjoyable. Prepare for the unexpected and be flexible: when everyone gets chicken pox and it rains for a week, being able to leap gracefully to plan B (get loads of DVDs, pitch the tent indoors and pretend you're having a good time) can prevent a lot of grey hairs.

6. In the playroom. Despite what your kids will tell you, 'Everyone' doesn't have every latest gadget known to Argos and doesn't stay up until midnight playing with them. Toys are great and all that but saying 'You are having a laugh! No I will not buy you that expensive what's-it-called because you already have fifty times more stuff than I had when I was your age and you never play with half of it- and don't ask again!' occasionally is no bad thing. Toy libraries are the thing, as are car boot sales and swapping toys with friends.

7. In the Dining Room. Eating together around a table at home is one of the most important things a family can do. And, before you say it, yes you do have the time. If you don't, something's gone horribly wrong and you may have to do some jiggling around to free up half an hour a day to sit down and much in harmony.

8. In the kitchen. Cooking for a family is not difficult. If you can spend even fifteen minutes a day in the kitchen with some fresh ingredients and pasta you can rustle up something edible, tasty and healthy with very little practice, fancy equipment or money. You don't need to be a celebrity chef to feed your family well, and getting your kids to have a go occasionally is even better - how else are they ever going to be able to feed themselves properly when they flee the nest?

9. In the living room. Family life requires sacrificing things, and fewer and fewer of us are up for that kind of thing. Deciding to have a family means signing up for a life of compromise, disorder, noise, sleeplessness and a fair amount of inconvenience, and that's just before breakfast. But as enormous, exhausting upheavals go it's just about the best one there is and if it's what you choose then you have to take on the challenge without a greasy chip on your shoulder. Now who has stolen my scissors again ..?

10. In the Greenhouse.There's really no excuse any more: switch lights off, turn taps off, turn the heating down , recycle, re-use, don't fly or drive more than necessary, stop using disposable nappies, get energy-saving light bulbs, insulate your house and so on and on. If we teach our kids to live like this, they'll know no different, and it isn't as dull as it sounds: you can have fun and do your bit to save the Planet - honest!