BAYERISCHER HOF, MUNICH

Their rating: *****
My rating. *****

There comes a time in everyone’s life when, just for a while, only the best will do. Not excellent, not even second best. But the very, very best.
For me, this time came a few weeks ago when my editor gave me a writing deadline that would challenge even the least distracted, hardest-working writer on the Planet, one week before my three children broke up for the 7-week summer holiday, making me the most distracted and least able to be hard-working writer on the Planet. This work stress, combined with family stress and enough general life stress to frazzle the calmest of souls all became so much that the one or two little grey hairs who had made their home on my head in recent years decided to double in number every week. I was getting nothing done, the deadline was looming, and I had 7 weeks of looking after kids 24/7 to look forward to. HELP!
So what did I do? Well, I did something I’ve never done since I had kids, and something that very few mums ever do, which is a big mistake: I put myself first. I picked a beautiful European city close to where we were going on holiday, looked up the best hotel in town, and booked myself in for a week. On my own. To work, to rest and to remove myself from everything that was causing me any kind of stress whatsoever.
The city was Munich. The hotel was the Bayerischer Hof. And going there for a writer’s retreat was just about the best move I’ve ever made.

            The Bayerischer Hof is one of those grand, central European hotels that makes you feel instantly a little more cultured and special than usual. The very walls exude an old-school class and elegance that is simply impossible to create anywhere new, no-matter how fantastic it may be. This is not to say that the hotel, though old-fashioned, is dated. Far from it. It is bang up to date in every way a guest could hope for. But this vital modernisation has brought nothing of the ‘new’ or brash to the place at all. It has a history and a grandeur that comes only with longevity and class that the presence of every mod-con known to man could never outshine.
It seems I’m in good company staying here: the guest list reads like a role-call of every eminent politician, actor, director, fashionista or musician of the last 50 years. From Kofi Annan to Bill Clinton, Putin to Kissinger, Ben Affleck, Woody Allen, Charlie Chaplin, Russell Crowe, Goldie Hawn, Jeremy Irons, Arnie, Sly Stallone, Martin Scorsese, Christian Dior, Claudia Schiffer, Jean Paul Gaultier, Karl Lagerfeld, Boris Becker, Andre Agassi, the Dalai Lama and more Kings and Queens than you could shake a Bavarian crown at have all placed their famous heads on the vast, plumped pillows of the Bayerischer Hof.

And, as if I needed further convincing, in 1974 The Hotel Bayerischer Hof became a member of "The Leading Hotels of the World" and in 2007 it won first place in the category "Classic Hotels" in the World Hotel Awards.
OK, I’m there.

HISTORY

So, a little history: opened in 1841 on the wishes of King Ludwig I (that’s the one before the one who was totally bonkers and built insanely ornate castles everywhere, in case you wondered) who wanted a comfortable place for his guests to stay, the Bayerischer Hof has been owned by the Volkhardt family for over a hundred years, which undoubtedly adds to its appeal and charm, in my book. It stands regally on the beautiful, quiet Promenader Platz, close enough to the Marienplatz – the touristic town centre – to be within easy peasy walking distance, but far enough away that you aren’t disturbed by the noise. When it was destroyed by aerial bombing during the night of 24th April 1944, it looked like all hope for the hotel was lost. But Hermann Volkhardt, who had acquired it for the astonishing sum of 2,850,000 gold marks in 1897, never lost faith in the future and proclaimed: "We shall rebuild the Bayerischer Hof to be more beautiful than ever before."
I feel he may have been right.                      
Falk Volkhardt, the son of Hermann, discovered that, amazingly, beneath the ruins of the destroyed hotel the Spiegelsaal (Mirror Hall) had survived almost intact, and in October 1945 this was where he opened the first restaurant in the centre of Munich, and thus the family began the process of rebuilding the hotel. In 1969 the adjacent Palais Montgelas was purchased, and work started on the restoration of this sumptuous classical building, a task that was completed in time for the opening of the 1972 Olympic Games.
Finally, in 1992 the fourth generation of Volkhardts took the reins: Falk’s daughter Innegrit became General Manager in 1992, and has been the force behind turning it into a fully modernised hotel, the refurbishment of the swimming pool on the roof and the expansion of the hotel with a large-scale health and fitness centre.
This last bit was a very smart move in my opinion, as the pool and gym were a huge draw for me. So let’s start the ‘review’ proper right here.

GYM AND POOL (photo above taken at night)

 There are many sumptuous old hotels in Central Europe, but few boast a pool or gym at all, mainly because they were never built to house one. And of those that do, most aren’t gyms that that anyone would actually want to use because they’ve been added as an afterthought, and without enough space, and as such are little more than a treadmill in a cupboard, and a paddling pool.
The Bayerischer Hof has been very clever to ensure the so-called ‘Wellness’ centre (they are big on ‘wellness’ in Bavaria) is big enough to be a pleasure to use, has spectacular views, and provides everything from towels to fresh water and lemon to headphones should you wish to watch telly while you’re sweating away. It is so good, in fact, that it won the Senses Wellness Award in 2006 for World’s Best City Resort.
I’d have voted for it too.
Whether I’m in a hotel on business or for pleasure, a spacious, clean, well-equipped place to get some exercise is a must for me, as is a decent sized pool. If I’m working I need the exercise to counteract all the sitting; if I’m being a tourist I love to shake away the ‘museum legs’ and get the heart-rate up a bit, or just cool off in a pool. Anything less than 12m long just isn’t big enough, and a ‘gym’ with one running machine and some weights isn’t a gym, it’s someone’s back room. Here, the gym has 2 running machines, 2 cross-trainers, 2 bikes and lots of weight machines as well as free weights, and a view over the city skyline that takes your mind right off the ticking clock.
The pool is breathtaking, and both long and wide enough (14.5 x 6.5m) to do some decent lengths without crashing into anyone. (In fact, in the whole week I was there I was never in the pool with more than 5 people, and mostly it was just me by myself. Heaven.) It has a fabulous glass roof that opens up, so in good weather you swim under the blue sky, or under the stars at night – and there is very little more relaxing than swimming under the stars. There are sun loungers, magazines, and by the looks of it there’s a huge fireplace so in the winter months you can go for a dip and then cuddle up with a Gluhwein by the fire, and the pool.
            I might have to come back…

ROOMS.

If you’re the kind of girl who likes to take eight pairs of shoes and every item of clothing shoe possesses, just in case, then you’ll know how frustrating it is to stay in a hotel with three hangers and one drawer. Where are you supposed to put all your clothing?? And that’s to say nothing of the bits of jewellery, emergency packs of biscuits, books, magazines and stationery I seem to always travel with. Luckily for me, my room had enough storage space to house everything, and within ten minutes of arriving I’d unpacked all my stuff, and the room was still completely tidy.
My bed was so enormous I wasn’t sure I’d ever find the other side, and I had enough pillows, which makes a nice change. I need two, and many hotels only provide one.
There is, of course, the usual chocolate on pillows thing going on, which is always welcome, though I do wish posh hotels would ditch the ‘turning down the bed’ policy. I just find it irritating, not to mention bonkers that they pay someone to do this every day for several hundred guests. And so every day I had to kindly tell the nice lady who came to turn the corner of my duvet over a few inches that thank you, I can do it myself. This is a criticism of all high-standard hotels, not just this one. But I guess some guests like it, so…
I was here to work, let’s not forget, and was delighted to find a huge desk, which writers always need to have all their material open on, with an internet connection point (though they have wireless too), enough power points (hurray!) and a decent light. Perfect. I got a huge amount of writing done there, with a decent view over Munich and almost complete silence.
There was air-con, which I’d usually shun but as it was in the high twenties during the day I have to confess I used a little, as it helped me to sleep.
In the bathroom I found not only the best shower I’ve had for decades (one of those ceiling ones where the water gushes out at you from a square panel about your head and you feel like you’re in a shampoo advert) but also the best products you can ever hope to get in a hotel: Molton Brown. Now that’s a treat.
Things I didn’t use but that were present included the usual mini-bar, flatscreen TV, hairdryer, safe etc. But just so you know they were there.
The only thing missing, for me, was one of those signs that says ‘Please consider the environment and only ask for new towels if you need them’ or words to that effect. Then again, only the towels that were clearly used were replaced, so maybe it’s not necessary, but still, it shows care for the Planet, and that’s a good sign. Maybe they’ll start doing it…

FOOD

I chose not to eat at the hotel, as I like wandering around and finding nice places to eat in the city I’m staying in. And in Munich I was spoiled for choice! But the hotel breakfasts that were included in my room rate were the best I’ve ever had, and I’ve had some corkers. Fruit salad to make your eyes water, cereals, porridge, eggs anyway you like them, meats, cheeses, fish, salads, pastries, jams, cappuccino, champagne, a vast selection of fresh juices….shall I go on?? I needn’t – you get the picture. It was amazing, and what was best was that I wasn’t jumped on by a member of staff the second I walked in, nor did I have to wait at all for my cappuccino to arrive or have my plates whisked away the second I’d finished. I was left to myself when needed, and catered for when it was required. Perfect service, in other words.
When my family came to join me at the end of my stay, my children thought they were in Heaven:

But for those who want them, there is a choice of three fabulous restaurants: the traditional Parais Keller serving Bavarian fare, and whose vaults date from 1425; or there’s the Garden-Restaurant with its 16 Gault Millau points. If you like your cuisine Haute, this is the perfect place for you in the calm setting of the garden terrace. Finally, somewhat bizarrely, there is Trader Vic’s where, in the heart of Bavaria, you can enjoy culinary delights from the Far East. Each very different, and each renowned for being of the highest standard.

ATMOSPHERE

This is always a very important category for me where hotels are concerned. I’ve stayed in a fair few five star hotels before, and I’ve found there is often something slightly cold, even unfriendly, about them. It’s as though the people who stay there are so rich, or want to be seen as so rich, that they cannot possibly communicate with other folk in case they are less rich or important. Staff are occasionally either haughty and over-polite or so eager to please they practically dust the carpet before you walk on it, which is intensely subservient and embarrassing. I’m a guest, not royalty. All in all the experience can be unnatural and unwelcoming.
At the Bayerischer Hof this was in every way not the case. Fellow guests, while keeping to themselves for the most part and leaving each other to their own peace and space, were always quick to smile and have a chat when the opportunity arose, and there was a general air of friendliness that was especially welcome to someone like me who was staying by herself. And when my kids arrived, there was no problem with them popping up to the pool wearing just their swimming costumes – no robes were required for them or the adults, which is refreshingly ‘normal’ and unpretentious.
The staff were nothing but friendly, greeting me at breakfast with a cheery ‘Gruess Gott’, and if there was any question or request that I cared to throw at them (and I threw a few, such as asking if I could have a kettle in my room – ‘Kein Problem!’ – or the time my wireless internet connection went down – it was sorted within a few hours and I was given complimentary access to the hotel’s wired internet without question) they helped me out immediately and with no unnecessary fuss or, as we’d say in England, arse-licking.
By the end of the week I felt like a resident, rather than a guest, and I’d made friends with the lovely lady who came to clean my room every day, with the front desk staff and with the girl who brought me my breakfast cappuccino. You can’t ask for more than to feel at home in a hotel, and here I certainly did.

With age can sometimes come stuffiness – but not here. There is an energy to the place that keeps it young and fresh, and despite the marble columns, sumptuous chandeliers and pressed white shirts of the waiters there’s a friendliness and family atmosphere that makes this all seem quite normal, and not a bit intimidating.
Like the best couture it makes the wearer feel and look a thousand times better, and it’s so comfortable it feels like a second skin.

CONCLUSION

Well, after a week here I was a new person. I worked hard to complete my book deadline but never once felt stressed by it, I swam beneath the stars and felt the stress of several years melt away from my face and body, I toned up in the gym, nourished my body with fresh food every morning, slept like a baby and spent time walking about in Munich, one of the most enchanting, exciting and geographically perfectly placed cities I’ve visited for years. And, most importantly, by the end of it I really missed my family. It may feel selfish to spoil yourself rotten and take time for yourself, but having now done it once I’ve learned that if you never do, you never get to miss others, or to appreciate how much good they bring to your life. You just get miserable and grouchy, and that’s not good for anyone.
Yes, it’s expensive – extremely expensive. But you know, if you only do it once a year or so, I think every penny is well spent if it takes five years off you and makes you feel this good.
When my family arrived at the end of my stay my husband crawled out of the car after a 14-hour drive, saw me and said “Wow, you look absolutely amazing!” That’s got to be worth it. Now my only problem to work out when I can next find an excuse to come and stay…Oktoberfest, Skiing, Easter….